When two people talk to each other, they enter into symbiosis and it is as, if on a symbolic level, they make love. Freud argued that psychological treatment is a cure that occurs through love, but what is love?
Personally, I think that love is a symbolic dimension, because it always refers to something else, it refers to something that escapes another meaning behind the manifest one. Therefore loving a person cannot be a quiet thing, as it places the one who loves in a condition of continuous tension and also in a condition of dependence. The one he loves is in a state of amazement, of wonder, in fact love continually surprises us, upsets us, relegating us to a rather passive role and as Freud says: love is characterized as tenacious and irreducible.
A characteristic of this particular feeling is the archaicity of the levels of mental functioning, this means that in the love relationship, the object is idealized and the atmosphere that surrounds it is pregnant with absolute and totalizing sensations that in some sense have the function of protecting us from the ghosts of abandonment. Love is an almost psychotic situation, that is, a condition of fusion with the object that is surrounded by an atmosphere of grandeur. We are captured by this dimension, there is a cancellation of one’s own color as regression leads the subject to live a state of deprivation, the ego feels poor and consequently the other becomes a source of life, therefore the possession of this magical object that the other represents is experienced by the ego as a matter of life or death.
But it is also true that the object of love is an object that is impossible to possess, as it is an object of another, that is, of the father or the mother. Now, when two people talk, they interpenetrate, they influence each other and when seduction is triggered, the charm of this phase can become a compulsive and maniacal charm, aimed at compensating for the inferiority of those who are seduced. Therefore we see that the seduced becomes a greedy person, suffers from the fear of loss, the seduced is addicted, is afraid of abandonment and therefore, a good relationship has the task of reclaiming the quality of desperate love of a pathological emotional dependence. that love tends to unleash.The purpose of a good relationship is to give birth to a healthier feeling, made up of confidence, intimacy and above all a sense of openness, that is, of warmth and mutual trust, which create a relationship based on sincere contact.
Now, this sincere contact is above all of a symbolic nature, that is, it exists as a psychic reality not only as a concrete reality, the symbolic nature of a relationship requires that there be truth, as happens in dreams but does not require that it be something real at all.
The choice of dialogue, of confrontation, therefore, the choice of the relationship which is initially a relationship between the self and the unconscious and subsequently becomes a relationship between the self and the other, this is a transformative choice that leads to action, in the end it is still an action that changes things when we question ourselves, everything begins to change, because thanks to emotional involvement we are pervaded by new forces, old habits disappear and we no longer see reality in simplistic terms such as good or bad or a reality in black and white but we see it symbolically, so we discover the clichés and the falsehoods that we have told ourselves, we see the betrayals towards ourselves and then we want to take the reins of our destiny in hand through a deed of redemption.
At the origin of every individuality therefore, there is an imperative of redemption, ignoring this task means remaining entangled in a need for dependence, whoever respects a false desire since it is the desire of only a part of the ego, must then act symbolically, the partial death of the ego has in itself an enormous thirst for life, a thirst for life, behind this death of the ego there is a visceral love for existence; Schopenhauer argued that the suicide loves life but we are talking about symbolic suicide that is not real, the tension towards the symbolic suicide of the ego reveals its transformative values, showing a desire for new life and spiritual rebirth. Jung said that the material man must transform himself into a spiritual man, that is, the man capable of assuming the responsibility of creating himself, here is the ransom, when two people talk to each other all this can happen.